Being Stingy With Quality Time...

Being Stingy With Quality Time...

Will I Ever Get What I Want If I'm Always Available?

Today is February 1st, 2013.  A lot has happened in the past couple of weeks.   Me and my Abofa, so I thought had huge fallout! Just when I thought everything was going smooth, it really wasn’t.  After almost a year of dating there is still no understanding about what we both want.  I’m older and looking to build and he’s younger and definitely wants to just be my snuggly teddy bear.  That fine but since we are not married, I would like to date in moderation. 

He wants me to always be available and doesn’t understand that sometimes I need time to myself.  On this particular night he wanted to see me and I relied " tonight is not good "  I would love to see and chill with every night and day but we are just scratching the surface and shacking up is not an option. I always said when I marry I would give my husband 100% of my time! Even with marriage people need time to themselves, I understood this why doesn’t he. 

He tells me I wasn’t giving him my all because I went from seeing him 3-4 times a week to twice a week. He gets mad at me because I didn’t want to spend time with him that night.  He was so disappointed; he didn’t even want to say that he loved me back when we were on the phone.  That night I texted him and said that my expectations would go up if I was going to invest more of my time into him. 

Remember I am looking for a husband and most women will never marry if they don’t make a man work for it!  I realized I had my way of spoiling him and he had his way of spoiling me however, it would never work out for me because men get to comfortable and if you give them what they want, on their time, they will have everything they need from you and won’t strive to get the relationship to the next level. 

That night some things were said out of anger from both of us and I was devastated.  I m not sure how he felt but I felt like we were back a square one.  I know what I want and I’m not going to let like this.  It’s not about game but it’s about control and I let him control me this far.  That was my biggest mistake!  I understand he’s not ready for a lifelong commitment but I have to make better decisions for what’s best for me and my children. 

Who wouldn’t want to sleep and wake up to the person they love every day?  I dream about that and would appreciate it more from my husband.  I guess I’m more structured and have more experience.  I have been in love and engaged before.  The boyfriend girlfriend thing is just that...a thing nothing more and definitely a huge step back for me!  Ladies clock the time you spend because before you know it years will go by and it’s very easy for both men and women to get comfortable.  It's almost been a year and I haven’t had a lot of expectations from Abofa. 

I just wanted to play and get to know him.   its 2013, a new year and I know all I need to know about him...potential, potential, potential so I’m going to make him work if he wants 100% of my quality time.  Even then he’s still not going to have all of me. You have to save something for yourself and something special for your husband.  I don’t know if we will ever get to that point but until then I would love to cuddle with you boo...it’s just going to be on my time and terms!  I just want him to know its no hard feelings and I can still love him regardless if we see each other every day or not!